"Again, Antigua is a small place, a small island. It is nine miles wide by twelve miles long. It was discovered by Christopher Columbus in 1493. Not too long after, it was settled by human rubbish from Europe, who used enslaved but noble and exalted human beings from Africa (all masters of every stripe are rubbish, and all slaves of every stripe are noble and exalted; there can be no question about this) to satisfy their desire for wealth and power, to feel better about their own miserable existence, so that they could be less lonely and empty-a European disease. Eventually, the masters left, in a kind of way; eventually, the slaves were free, in a kind of way. The people in Antigua now, the people who really think of themselves as Antiguans (and the people who would immediately come to your mind when you think about what Antiguans might be like; I mean, supposing you were to think about it), are the descendants of those noble and exalted people, the slaves. Of course, the whole thing is, once you cease to be a master, once you throw off your master's yoke, you are no longer human rubbish, you are just a human being, and all the things that adds up to. So, too, with the slaves. Once they are no loner slaves, once they are free, they are no longer noble and exalted; they are just human beings."
Kincaid (80-81)
My Imitation: "Teens are people, too."
Sometimes, when he is particularly bored, he goes out. The day is when his street is a personal heaven. It is spilling over with sun and children. Not too soon later, once the sun goes down and it's dark, those who wish him no good emerge for their familiar game (you know who i am taking about, the drinking they glamorize and the bad things they offer; there is no better way to put it) to get him as their friend and brother, to convince him he is having a good time, so he believes that these people actually care about him- so he thinks. He, like many others, is a teen with nothing; teens, for the most part, have a kind of nothing. I don't necessarily mean needy, I mean that they have nothing to do (and if such a program that I am going to suggest exists then I sure haven't heard about it; but really, let me know if it does), and teens should be encouraged and given immense opportunities, we're the future. I have an idea, and a few small suggestions, that rather than reporting tragedies about our youth, that we broadcast youth making a difference, and in order to do so, we need to provide exciting opportunities, ones teens will want to attend, ones to keep them from the dark street. I, whole-heartidly, am proposing just this. Teens need to be offered more, and not more drinks, but more opportunities for a bright future; because teens are people too.
Olivia Melendez
Wow this is amazing Olivia. Not only did your writing flow well (even with Kincaid's difficult sentence structure), but it seems as though you even took on her writing style. The way you started off with a narrative is quite Kincaid-ian. Also, though posed with a difficult structural challenge, you still stuck well to the base of a good argument, by explaining the problem in full detail, as well as the solution in full detail. Excellent work.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good topic Olivia and a very good blog post! I really admire the way your sentences flow and how they almost perfectly imitate Kincaid's. The beginning is really strong. it makes me want to keep reading on, but then in the middle it sort of gets confusing and i sort of lost what you meant, but then in the end, you gain that strength back and draw the reader back in. i would say that middle needs a little work, but don’t worry because i also struggled in my entry because of the fact that it’s so hard to imitate a whole paragraph without compromising the flow at times. Other than that, I really loved it! my favorite part which i thought was most impacting was the very end when you said "Teens need to be offered more, and not more drinks, but more opportunities for a bright future; because teens are people too." Again, needs some work in that middle, but other than that, excellent job! :)
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